[14 May 2005|09:13pm] saturday, may 14th, 2005 -- entry twenty-three last night was possibly one of the best sleeps of my life. as i layed there about to close my eyes i found myself thinking about a certain someone. who, you may ask. id have to go with a big nunya on that one. mysterys always seemed to tickle my fancy, so ill take this one to the grave. sometimes just thinking about someone before you go to sleep can make everything spectacular. i fell asleep feeling infinite. the pillow had that cold feeling the entire night or so i remember, i was sleeping you know. when i awoke i could remember the picaresque dream i had that night. it seemed like the most absurd adventure of my life and i loved it. in my dream i was searching for something i feel almost silly for what it was, but boy was i determined. i swam through oceans and climbed mountains. i wasnt going to give up. i seemed to be dressed in sundays best. suit in all i conquered the un-conquerable. all in all i found what i was searching for, a sock. i was on a quest for my other sock. i believe it all has to do with who i was thinking about before i went to sleep. you cant have one sock without the other. 7, this is a concept

[28 Apr 2005|09:59pm] thursday, april 28th, 2005 -- entry twenty-two tonight just seems so soothing. im about to take the screen out of the window and get on the roof and just lay there. maybe bring a notebook and a head flashlight and write something. anything. i feel creative tonight. i feel intelligent tonight. i feel amazing tonight. it seems like nothing could go wrong tonight. if something were to go wrong itd be a crime. i cant be harmed tonight. its just perfect. as i look out my window all i see is black and the occasional headlights of cars shooting by. its comforting though. it honestly is. as i look out i dont see any stars. just black. i always see stars. tonight is different. this night seems unlike the rest. 3, this is a concept

[25 Apr 2005|09:19pm] monday, april 25th, 2005 -- entry twenty-one nothing could make today not amazing for me. i had absolutely no complications. i woke up on time, had a piece of toast, which was extremely good for once. i usually tend to burn it slightly. i went to school, had a few good laughs and just enjoyed myself. not a minute goes by when i dont have a smile on my face. why am i so lucky to deserve this happiness? there are so many people who need this much more than i do. why is it that nothing gets to me? am i emotionless? i think not. i think im constantly living on the bright side. thats the only way i can explain it. i wont allow anything to bring me down. smiling until your face hurts is honestly the best feeling ever. i hope whoever is reading this has experienced it. you wouldnt know until you felt it. my life is almost like a great song that you can never get sick of. im guessing track 10 is always on repeat. we all know they save the best for last. the last tracks are usually the best. i guess its kind of a funny way to look at your life being an album, but you are what you love the most. 6, this is a concept

[21 Apr 2005|09:09pm] thursday, april 21st, 2004 - entry twenty i cant wait until high school is over. better yet, i cant wait until college is over. im so excited to shape what i am going to be when i get older. not in a career sense. more in a personal sense. im curious to see how i am when im older. everyone changes, but will mine be minut or overwhelming? i guess i cant say now. but i hope the changes are good. i hope to have a fantastic wife and even more fantastic kids. a small yard, less upkeep. a decent size house. i dont want the house to be big in the architectural sense, just big with love. i swear, im gonna be dad of the year. those sweatshirts wont lie in my case. i cant wait until my wife and i are awoken in the night and i have to chase some monster out of a closet or have a runny nosed kid inbetween my wife and i. typical things a seventeen year old male wants, right? i think thats why i remain so positive all the time. im excited for the future. i guess you could say im already thankful for whats to come. 11, this is a concept

[20 Apr 2005|11:37pm] wednesday, april 20th, 2005 -- entry nineteen theres something about the wednesday air that just smells so right this is a concept

[06 Apr 2005|08:21pm] wednesday, april 6th, 2005 -- entry eighteen it seems like some people are just put on this earth to make you happy. you individually. they know just what to say to bring a smile to your face. you could know them for years or three days, but they just have it. they have that thing. that thing can make you feel great. i am so grateful for having those people in my life. they may not know it, but i love them for that. i absolutely do. they can raise my spirits like no other. i want to thank everyone old or new who makes me feel great. you will never know how thankful i am to you for that. 5, this is a concept

[09 Mar 2005|10:15pm] wednesday, march 9th, 2005 -- entry seventeen i need to be a father. ive known this for a long time. i would be the perfect dad. when i get older i basically plan on my life being only for my wife, children, and myself. my goal is to make them feel on top of the world. everyone needs that certain someone in their life. i want to be that someone. i want them to turn to me, always. i cant turn to my dad and talk to him. honestly sixteen years of mis-communication, i wouldnt know where to start. we have never actually talked about anything. it seems like a void is missing. there should be a realtionship, but there isnt. we have never been 'friends'. at the rate we are going i dont see that changing. all this time and we have never had one in depth conversation. i dont think hes interested in knowing me. he has never taken the time. i try to start conversations with him, but i get straight forward answers. he just doesnt feel very welcoming towards me. i think its because im not the son he wanted me to be. im not the captain of the football team, i dont like cars, im not tough. i feel like ive let him down. he had expectations for me and i didnt reach them. when i was younger i always tried to do stuff to make him like me, but over time i just gave up. i cant pretend to be something im not. he wanted to see another him in me, but when he looks at me he doesnt see himself, he just sees a stranger. 2, this is a concept

[08 Mar 2005|08:43pm] tuesday, march 8th, 2005 -- entry sixteen tonight is one of those great nights. one of those nights when you truly know who you are. at this age im realizing more and more that little things honestly mean the most. the smallest things can make a difference in the world. you dont need much to be completely happy in life. all you need is something youre good at. something you can always turn to. no matter what that something will always be there. i consider life to be a comfortable bed. you may need more blankets and extra pillows to feel completely comfortable but your bed is one place that you belong. we belong on earth. sure we can do something to change that. but why would you? why would you not want to return to your bed? ( something so little can change the world ) 6, this is a concept

[07 Mar 2005|04:12pm] monday, march 7th, 2005 -- entry fifteen hello spring time, its nice to see you again. well its not officially spring yet, but its poking its head out on this fine monday. the weather is very comfortable for once. it feels incredible. this morning seemed almost like that first week of school. when the mornings are cool and relaxing. i live for those mornings. theyre simply the best. theres nothing better than waking up and feeling completely content. its days like these where everything goes your way. on days like these the world is your oyster. ( spring time ) 6, this is a concept

[28 Feb 2005|09:30pm] monday, february 28th, 2005 -- entry fourteen what is it about dreams that can make your day, week, or even month? your head can be so filled with negativity when you lay your little head on the pillow but when you awake and you remember the events that played in your head you cant help but smile. im talking about good dreams of course. no, make that great dreams. the ones when you awake you just keep playing the dream over and over in your head. you cant get enough of it. some dreams are so amazing that you almost dont want to live in reality. those dreams are the best dreams. 4, this is a concept

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]